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Why We’re Waiting to Have Children

March 14, 2018 by Kelly Nash 18 Comments

I’m a recent newlywed. So as you can imagine, one of the questions we get asked a lot nowadays is when we plan to have children. It’s a question I find almost taboo in this day and age as so many couples struggle with fertility and don’t have an answer to give. It’s important to remember everyone is fighting their own battle or is on their own time schedule. Because of this, I try my best to never ask other couples when they plan to start trying or what their baby timeline looks like. I’m an open book and I have to be especially now, as I decided to start Lipstick & Ink and share my life. When people ask me the question, I just answer honestly.

Why We're Waiting to Have Children Pinterest Pin

Growing up, I always thought I’d be married and have my first child by the time I was 25. My mom complained about being an “older mom” and that always stuck with me. She and my dad didn’t marry until almost their mid 30’s and had me as soon as they could. After surpassing age 25 without a husband or child, I took a deep breath and realized that wasn’t what I wanted at that time.

As Adam and I deepened our relationship over the years, we began to talk about more about the serious aspects of life, like marriage and children. Luckily, we were 100% on the same page and that gave me so much confidence and comfort in our relationship. We mutually agreed we wanted to have a long engagement (which we did), get married, and wait a few years for children. And if I’m going to keep it real, we have admittedly even questioned if we could be happy without children in our life. Many women will likely scoff at that statement and that’s okay, because everyone is entitled to their own opinion. But just because we as women are biologically wired to reproduce, doesn’t necessarily mean we have to reproduce. If we truly don’t feel it’s in our life plan, that’s okay. Every woman is on her own journey and should be respected for whatever opinion she has on the idea of children. You do you, girl, and I’ll do me.

Adam and I both turn 30 this September (fun fact: I’m 15 hours older than him!). I’m expecting a rush of “so, when are you guys having kids?” even more so than before. While we are fairly certain kids are in the cards for us (pending no fertility issues), we plan to wait as long as we can for these reasons.

My Career

I value my career and pride myself on getting to where I am today because of my ambition and work ethic. While Salesforce offers an amazing parent leave policy and a flexible work schedule, I feel like to take time off now or in the near term would honestly negatively affect my career. I’m at a height in my career and what I do between now and the next few years is really going to make or break how far I can go. I’m aiming high and ultimately want to continue moving up in the company. I’m actually terrified if I were to have a child now that I wouldn’t be able to give 100% to my career like I can now. There’s so many articles out there that claim women can really ‘have it all’ when it comes to career and having a family, but I’m not entirely sure I buy that. There has to be some give or take somewhere and truth be told, it’d likely be my career that suffers. I suppose I won’t really know until I have a child of my own, but I’m not ready to find out quite yet.

Independence & City Living

Adam and I are both shamelessly selfish with our time. We enjoy our separate time alone and doing the things we are passionate about. Adam loves to read and I am now always on my computer writing, editing pictures, or planning my social posts for the blog. We also love spending time together with zero distractions. We can watch hours of Netflix with no other looming responsibilities, we can go to dinner without having to find a babysitter, we can go to the gym at a moment’s notice, and we can sleep in on the weekends. Not to mention, we absolutely love living in Chicago. We have already determined that once we are ready to be parents, we likely won’t stay in the city and will make the move to suburbia. So right now, I’m going to relish in the fact that I can walk to Wrigley Field in less than 20 minutes, try a new restaurant every day, and have a short work commute. The city has so much to offer and we haven’t even skimmed the surface even after living here 6-7 years.  We truly aren’t ready to give up the Windy City yet!

Kelly Nash & Adam Vedas stand in Lincoln Park, Chicago, holding hands

Photo Credit: Photo & Film by SarahElizabeth

Finances

Kids are expensive! Adam and I have made strides to be able to save a lot of our take home income and could afford a child today. However, we have our sights on wanting to buy a piece of property first. From there, we want to ensure that we are financially stable to contribute more to our 401Ks and continue putting money into savings every month. They say a child costs over $260,000 in his/her lifetime until he/she is 18. That’s just counting the basic necessities and doesn’t even include college! Needless to say, we aim to save a lot more before becoming parents.

Travel

We’ve come across so many older couples that have actually commended us in our decision. They’ve also encouraged us to travel now “while we can.” You can obviously travel with children, but the harsh reality is it’s definitely a lot more difficult with a baby in tow, especially when traveling internationally. Adam and I have been very fortunate to see a lot of countries and cities already. However, we are nowhere close in what places we want to see before we have children. We have a long list and I’m determined to cross them off!

Adam & Kelly above the clouds at Haleakala Crater in Maui.

Adam & I above the clouds at Haleakala Crater in Maui, HI.

As stated earlier in this post, this can be a taboo topic and every person is likely going to have a differing opinion. This is mine and I hope you will respect it. I want to iterate that this post is in no means a way to diminish the amazing mothers and future mothers out there. I commend all of you and give you so much credit! This is truly just our decision as to why we are waiting. Please know that when our time comes, having a child will be absolutely life changing for us in the best way.

Pink lipstick stain

 

Kelly, Founder of Lipstick & Ink
Kelly Nash

Kelly Nash is a Chicago-based writer, speaker, career advisor, and founder of Lipstick & Ink®. In addition, she works full-time in technology as a Success Manager at Salesforce and has over 10 years of digital marketing experience. Kelly has been featured in Thrive Global, International Association of Women, General Assembly, Salesforce, SheFactor, and Six Degrees Society. She is also in the process of writing her first book.

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Filed Under: life, life changes, realtalk, thoughts Tagged With: life, life changes, personal thoughts, realtalk

About Kelly Nash

Kelly Nash is a Chicago-based writer, speaker, career advisor, and founder of Lipstick & Ink®. In addition, she works full-time in technology as a Success Manager at Salesforce and has over 10 years of digital marketing experience. Kelly has been featured in Thrive Global, International Association of Women, General Assembly, Salesforce, SheFactor, and Six Degrees Society. She is also in the process of writing her first book.

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Comments

  1. Ashley B. says

    March 14, 2018 at 10:09 am

    This question is my BIGGEST pet peeve. 3 kids and I still get asked regularly about family planning. I realize most of the time the question is harmless about the deemed “progression” in American culture. Yet this basic question is personal, between you and your significant other, and insinuates you have complete control exactly when, how, and how many kids you will have. If you ask any mother their story, it rarely matches with their expectations and what they had planned. What I have found to be true (like you said) is some women don’t want kids, some struggle with infertility and miscarriages. Treatments and adoption are difficult and expensive. Some mothers are teenagers while some middle aged. Some have one child. One of my grandmothers had eight. Frankly it’s no one’s business and in my opinion the question is rude 100 percent of the time. I’ll get off my soapbox now 😬 We love you and Adam and the life your building together!

    Reply
    • Kelly Nash says

      March 14, 2018 at 9:41 pm

      Oh my gosh, people don’t quit, do they!? So glad you agree that it’s such a personal question. Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving a comment! Love you and Zack too!

      Reply
  2. Jasmine says

    March 14, 2018 at 11:13 am

    I’m getting married this June, and people are already asking me about kids and we aren’t even married yet! It’s so annoying. I know, people are just trying to make conversation, but it really is no one’s business but yours. Right now, my fiancé and I want to have a few years of marriage under our belt before we bring kids into the picture. Also, congrats on getting married!! Love your photos!

    Reply
    • Kelly Nash says

      March 14, 2018 at 9:40 pm

      It’s comforting to know I’m not alone in this! That is so annoying you’re already getting asked when you’re not even married yet. Sounds like you and your fiance are on the same page as my husband and me! Enjoy the rest of your wedding planning and congratulations on your upcoming wedding!

      Reply
  3. Mom says

    March 14, 2018 at 1:21 pm

    I love your perspective on why women want to wait to have children. It is totally up to you and Adam. Of course I want to be a grandmother but you don’t want to have children for us. As you know, we will love and spoil them when they are with us, but in the end, they will be coming back to you. I am frankly tired of people asking me too when you are going to have children. You will have them when you are ready. Do what you want now. It is not easy trying to work full time and travel with children. I love you and don’t know where I would have been without you and your sister. You both have made our lives more meaningful and enjoyable.

    Reply
    • Kelly Nash says

      March 14, 2018 at 9:42 pm

      Thanks, Mom! We love you so much too and really appreciate your support! You’re the best. xoxo

      Reply
  4. Rebecca says

    March 15, 2018 at 9:38 am

    Thank you for this post! It’s so encouraging to read, and you put words to some of the exact things I’ve been feeling!! Sometimes I get “baby fever,” but I also LOVE the life and freedom my husband and I have now! You got me excited to wait to have kids!

    Reply
    • Kelly Nash says

      March 16, 2018 at 8:28 pm

      You are so welcome! Thank YOU for reading and leaving your thoughts. I am sooo loving our freedom right now too 🙂 Enjoy this special time with your husband!

      Reply
  5. Shay says

    March 15, 2018 at 6:46 pm

    this is great. i’m newly married as well (last february) the freedom to travel was a HUGE one for me. waiting seems to be more and more common with millennial wives like us 🙂

    Reply
    • Kelly Nash says

      March 15, 2018 at 6:55 pm

      Exactly, Shay! Most of my friends haven’t started having kids yet either. I think it’s definitely a generational thing 🙂

      Reply
  6. Petria says

    March 15, 2018 at 6:59 pm

    Wow, what an amazing read! As a mum to 3 girls (who I absolutely adore) we find that we still get asked our family planning plans! Having children definitely changes your life, you guys will find the right time when to begin this journey.

    Reply
    • Kelly Nash says

      March 15, 2018 at 7:07 pm

      Petria, that is crazy that you’re still being asked about your family planning! I sometimes wish people would just mind their own business. Thanks for reading and stopping by!

      Reply
  7. sarah@diamondsndenimblog.com says

    March 15, 2018 at 8:33 pm

    I love this!!

    I’ve been married almost two years (I’m 21) and been asked countless times about children. Part of me wants children, but part of me also knows how time consuming and needy children are. Right now, my husband and I are just enjoying how peaceful and easy our life together is. It’s pleasant. We have time, money, and energy to go do all the stuff we want- like camping, hiking, traveling, having our horses, etc.

    We don’t plan on having children any time soon, but that could always change. I suppose if we never have kids, we’ll never know what we’re missing. If we do have children, I’m sure we’ll love it / love them, and be very happy for that decision. The way I see it, there’s no way we can really “lose”.

    Great post, it made me think a bit, thank you for sharing this with us!

    Reply
    • Kelly Nash says

      March 16, 2018 at 8:29 pm

      You are still so young, Sarah! You have plenty of time to have children. I think that’s so great that you and your husband are just enjoying life the way it is now and taking advantage of doing the things you like to do. I definitely agree that it’s a win/win decision either way, and to each their own, right?! Thanks for reading and leaving your thoughts!

      Reply
  8. Olyvia says

    March 26, 2018 at 6:57 am

    I don’t want kids at all for many of the same reasons you all are waiting. Luckily, I’m young so people don’t bug me that much about it. They still do sometimes, though. I hate it. I’m engaged so I imagine the annoyance level is about to rise. Stay firm in your decision whatever it is. It’s only your life to live!

    Reply
    • Kelly Nash says

      March 26, 2018 at 11:28 pm

      Yes, Olyvia! I totally agree. It’s probably going to be asked more of you, especially after you get married. But you stay strong too in your decision and don’t let anyone tell you differently! Thanks for stopping by and reading!

      Reply
  9. Victoria Marie says

    February 22, 2019 at 8:34 pm

    Yes! I love that you addressed this topic! My husband and I got married young, and have been married 7 years now…so you can imagine how many times we’ve been asked when we’re going to have children. But, we both really love our freedom, are still working to advance our careers and honestly, have no desire to have kids RIGHT NOW. And I don’t understand why some people act as if that’s a negative thing.

    Reply
    • Kelly Nash says

      February 23, 2019 at 12:41 pm

      YES! Exactly, I don’t understand some people’s obsession of asking this question and pushing their agenda on OUR lives. I think that’s great you and your husband are enjoying the time you have together and working on your careers! Kids will happen when you are both ready!

      Reply

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HI THERE!

Kelly, Founder of Lipstick & Ink

Welcome to Lipstick & Ink®, your home for everything career, wellness and #realtalk inspired. I’m Kelly, a Chicago-based advertising tech professional, career advisor, writer, speaker, events host, and goal getter.

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𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙙𝙤𝙚𝙨 𝙇𝙞𝙥𝙨 𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙙𝙤𝙚𝙨 𝙇𝙞𝙥𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙠 & 𝙄𝙣𝙠 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙢𝙚𝙖𝙣? When I started L&I three years ago, I wanted to be intentional about the branding and what it stood for. After careful thought, L&I was born along with a clear, intentional message and call to action for all women who interact with the brand: 𝘖𝘸𝘯 𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘗𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳 & 𝘔𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘔𝘢𝘳𝘬.
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ʟɪᴘꜱᴛɪᴄᴋ - 𝗢𝘄𝗻 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗣𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 💄⠀
There is power in wearing lipstick. A woman wearing lipstick embodies self-confidence and empowerment. She’s the woman who looks at herself in the mirror and thinks, I am powerful. She’s the woman who stands out in a crowd. She’s the woman who knows she can do anything she sets her mind to. With just a few swipes of her favorite color, she feels invigorated and ready to own her power and take on the world.
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ɪɴᴋ - 𝗠𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗠𝗮𝗿𝗸 🖊⠀
There is power in a woman’s words and how she puts them to action. Thinking about what she wants out of life and putting it pen to paper creates vision and clarity. By writing in ink, she commits to making what she wants a reality. For a woman in pursuit of her goals and dreams is determined to make her mark.
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𝗟𝗶𝗽𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗸 & 𝗜𝗻𝗸 𝗶𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗺𝗮𝗻 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘂𝗽 𝗮𝘀 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗰 𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳. 𝘐𝘵’𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘢𝘪𝘮𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘥𝘷𝘰𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘴. 𝗜𝘁’𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗺𝗮𝗻 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗸 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗼𝘁𝘆𝗽𝗲𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗴𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘀 𝗰𝗲𝗶𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀. 𝘐𝘵’𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘵. 𝗜𝘁’𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗺𝗮𝗻 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗲 𝗴𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘀𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀💋
"𝙄 𝙙𝙤𝙣𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙥𝙚𝙤𝙥𝙡𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙄'𝙢 𝙗𝙧𝙖𝙜𝙜𝙞𝙣𝙜." "𝙈𝙮 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙠 𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙖𝙠𝙨 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙞𝙩𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛." "𝙎𝙚𝙡𝙛-𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙢𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙞𝙨 𝙨𝙤 𝙪𝙣𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙩𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚." "𝙄 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙪𝙗 𝙥𝙚𝙤𝙥𝙡𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙧𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙬𝙖𝙮."
⠀⠀
These are some of the reasons women hold back in promoting themselves in the workplace. 𝗜 𝘂𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻. Going from a small company to Salesforce seven years ago changed that all for me though. I was a small fish in a VERY big pond (and that's when we were under 20,000 employees - now we've surpassed over 50,000!).
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I quickly realized that 𝘪𝘧 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘷𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘣𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺, 𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱 𝘴𝘬𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘴, 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘶𝘵 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦. I had to share my wins. I had to manage up to manager and send the positive feedback I received from my clients and other employees. I had to showcase the value I brought to my clients, to my team, and to the company. 𝙄 𝙝𝙖𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚 𝙢𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛-𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙢𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣.
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Here's the tea, friends. 𝗦𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗶𝘀 𝗡𝗢𝗧 𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗴𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴. It's showcasing your 𝘃𝗮𝗹𝘂𝗲. It's delivering facts. It's sharing your learnings so you can help others. 𝑰𝒕'𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒂𝒅𝒗𝒐𝒄𝒂𝒕𝒆. In today’s corporate world, going to work, doing your job and hoping you get the recognition you deserve isn’t going to cut it anymore. If you want to advance in your career, get promoted and nab raises, you need to speak up and share your wins.
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If you're not promoting yourself, ask yourself why. 𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩'𝙨 𝙝𝙤𝙡𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠?💋
Do you 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬? I recently joined a webinar by @insideoutincubator about the 𝟭𝟬 "𝗿𝘂𝗹𝗲𝘀" 𝘄𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻 𝗳𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗯𝗲 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗽𝘀 & 𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗴𝗿𝗼𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗳𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆:
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☞ Rule 1: 𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐄𝐥𝐬𝐞 𝐇𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐀𝐧𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐫 - You doubt what you know & assume others know more than you.⠀
☞ Rule 2: 𝐋𝐞𝐭 𝐌𝐲 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐈𝐭𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 - You think you don't deserve to be in the spotlight or don't want others to think you're bragging.⠀
☞ Rule 3: 𝐈'𝐥𝐥 𝐃𝐨 𝐗 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐈 𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 - You fear being "found out" or don't contribute until you feel you have ALL the answers.⠀
☞ Rule 4: 𝐈 𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐈 𝐄𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐈𝐭 - Even after you've been hired or promoted, you feel you have to go above and beyond, saying yes to everything, afraid to say no.⠀
☞ Rule 5: 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐜 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬 𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐒𝐞𝐥𝐟𝐢𝐬𝐡 - Reaching out to specific people (i.e. leaders) will make you seem self-serving so you connect only with people you feel safe with.⠀
☞ Rule 6: 𝐌𝐲 𝐓𝐨-𝐃𝐨 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐃𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐌𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐲 - You get stuck in reactive mode and don't give yourself time to work on more of the forward-looking strategic projects.⠀
☞ Rule 7: 𝐎𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐳𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞'𝐬 𝐇𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 - You don't want to rub anyone the wrong way and constantly worry about other's feelings.⠀
☞ Rule 8: 𝐀𝐦𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐔𝐠𝐥𝐲 - You make yourself small and defer to others to dictate your path.⠀
☞ Rule 9: 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐌𝐲 𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐨𝐨𝐫 - You believe you have to be productive 100% of the time and beat yourself up when you're not feeling your best.⠀
☞ Rule 10: 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐬 𝐌𝐲 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 - You take on everything and think you have to solve everyone's problems & say sorry way too often.
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Which resonate with you? Some of these I've overcome the last few years, but it’s a kick in the butt reminder that there are a few (3, 4, 6, 10) I still struggle with & want to break! Which do you want to break?💋
[𝙽𝙴𝚆 𝙱𝙻𝙾𝙶 𝙿𝙾𝚂𝚃] 𝘗𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘥. While certainly an overused term, it’s definitely not overrated. Personal branding is more important than ever as it helps you to 𝙗𝙪𝙞𝙡𝙙 𝙖 𝙧𝙚𝙥𝙪𝙩𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬𝙣 𝙛𝙤𝙧, 𝙙𝙞𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙨, 𝙞𝙣𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙫𝙖𝙡𝙪𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙞𝙣𝙛𝙡𝙪𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙚, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙪𝙡𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙡𝙮, 𝙖𝙙𝙫𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙚𝙧. Regardless if you work in the corporate world or consider yourself an entrepreneur (or both!), knowing and cultivating your personal brand is essential.
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Because here’s the thing – you already have a personal brand, whether you realize it or not. 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗮 𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗱. However, understanding the power of your brand can be difficult and requires self-awareness, intention, and action.
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If you’re unsure or curious about how to get started with building and boosting your brand, I've developed a 5 step formula to do just that! You can read more about these 5 steps and your best path forward in L&I's newest blog post, found via the link in my bio!💋
3 years ago today, I pressed “Publish” on Lips 3 years ago today, I pressed “Publish” on Lipstick & Ink. Even though it was only a blog at the time, I was terrified to put myself out there. I worried about what people would think about me, wondered if my site was good enough, and questioned if what I was writing would even resonate or help others.
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At the same time, it was exhilarating and freeing. I was finally writing again, something that had been a passion of mine since I was a kid. I was in my purpose, sharing my knowledge of how I had grown my career and guiding women on how they could do the same. And most of all, I was pushing myself out of my comfort zone, facing fears I had avoided for years.
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Since February 22, 2018, I have grown more than I thought possible. From my blog to expanding to events to speaking to advising clients to writing my first book, I continue to find ways to grow L&I and make an impact. And I can feel in my bones this is only the beginning.

Through these last 3 years, if I could share one piece of advice as to what I’ve learned , it’s this: OWN YOUR POWER. Own the power of yours that’s generated from within, not outside of yourself. Your authentic power. Don’t give your power away. Don’t allow the thoughts of others to get in your way. Don’t compare yourself to others and wonder how you will measure up. Don’t hold back on what you want to do because you are concerned about how others are going to feel about it.
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There is always a choice to make in terms of whether you decide to own your power or give it away. And these days, I choose my power. I choose me. My hope is that you too honor who you are and choose yourself. Because when you choose yourself, you set yourself free💋
We live in a world of 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘵 We live in a world of 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 - and let's be honest, we have gotten reaaal accustomed to it. So much so, that we may be easily disappointed when something doesn't immediately go our way - including when it comes to our careers. Whether it's seeking a promotion or landing a job at your dream company, we need to remember that it may take longer than we like or anticipate.
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Most of the time, 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒔 𝒐𝒓 𝒓𝒆𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒅𝒔 𝒘𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒊𝒏 𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒆𝒓 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒏 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒆𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒍𝒚. This is why it's critical to ᴘʟᴀɴᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴇᴇᴅ early on to begin preparing to reach your next career goal. For example:⠀
🌱 𝗦𝗲𝗲𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻: Start making an effort to connect with your manager periodically to discuss your career growth. Voice that you are aiming for a promotion. Show to him/her that you take your professional development seriously by discussing your goals and ways you can start taking on additional responsibilities. Try and start taking on the work of the role above yours. Keep a track record of your accomplishments and feedback (L&I has a free template FYI under Resources in my bio!).⠀
🌱 𝗟𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮 𝗝𝗼𝗯 𝗮𝘁 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗗𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗮𝗻𝘆: Research the company and learn about their mission, corporate values, and their offerings. Take their available certifications if available to put on your resume. Reach out and build relationships over time with people that currently work there to understand the culture and to let them know you are interested in working for their company. Get your resume, cover letter and LinkedIn profile professionally reviewed. Tailor your resume and yes, even your cover letter for the job you ultimately apply for.
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Both of these scenarios 𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚. But don't let that discourage you. What's something you're looking to accomplish in your career in the next 6 months? Don't delay - it's never too early to start preparing. Plant the seed now and watch yourself grow these next few months. Soon enough, after some hard work and patience, those 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐞𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬 will come🌷💋
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