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The Power of Impact: Volunteering in Rwanda & What It Meant to Me

March 1, 2020 by Kelly Nash 4 Comments

On my 31st birthday last September, I was writing in my journal when I noticed a crinkled and stained piece of paper had fallen out. I picked it up and realized it was the bucket list I had written during my early years of college. As I read over my list, I noticed two things written down: volunteer abroad and visit a developing country. 

Not even a few days later, my manager, Kristen, told me she was heading to Rwanda with another co-worker of ours for a volunteer trip in February with an organization called Venture2Impact. Venture2Impact is an organization that aims to help communities around the world break the cycle of poverty. Not only does this apply to material poverty, but V2I also addresses issues of isolation, vulnerability, powerlessness, physical weakness, and other forms of poverty. As Kristen was telling me about the program in Rwanda, I knew I wanted to partake in it.

The plan was to partner with an organization on the ground in Kigali, Rwanda called Hope and Homes for Children (HHC) to help disadvantaged people in their community learn English, computer skills and train young businesswomen specifically on business and entrepreneurial subjects. The goal was to upskill them so they could qualify for better paying jobs and ultimately reduce child abandonment rates. There has been a preconceived notion in developing countries that placing your children in an orphanage will allow them to flourish and live a better life than if they lived with their families. HHC is debunking this myth and they are striving to close all orphanages and put children into loving homes instead.

We would be in Kigali for a week, but V2I would be on the ground with additional groups of volunteers for a total of three weeks. I knew nothing about Rwanda, the land of a thousand hills, or what I was really getting myself into, but I felt in my heart that it was meant to be.  If I was going to volunteer abroad, I wanted it to be working and teaching people one on one. Without any hesitation, I found myself setting up a meeting with the founder of Venture2Impact, being interviewed, getting accepted into the program, and planning my trip to Africa in a matter of days.

As months turned to weeks and weeks turned to days before my trip, I found myself getting nervous but energized at the possibilities that awaited me. I’d be traveling alone most of the way, going farther than I ever have without family or my trusty travel partner – my husband, Adam, but I saw it as a challenge to be on my own. I’d be going to a new country (and continent for that matter) that I had no familiarity with and would be totally out of my comfort zone, but I was excited to immerse myself in a culture and way of life that was so different from my own. I couldn’t wait to meet the people we would be working with. What I didn’t anticipate was how much the country, the people and the trip would make an impact on me.

Kelly walks towards her RwandAir flight.

Picture courtesy of John Malangone

Rwanda landscape from up above.

Picture courtesy of John Malangone

Rwanda’s Tragic Past

Most people who have heard of Rwanda know it for its genocide of 1994, where nearly one million people were brutally tortured and lost their lives in a span of only 100 days. I can’t believe that I was alive during this horrific time of history and had no knowledge of the genocide all these years prior to planning my trip. I wanted to make sure I understood the impact it had on the country and its people before I arrived. To educate myself, I read countless articles online and watched Hotel Rwanda a few months prior to landing on the ground, but nothing could have prepared me for the shock and utter grief I felt walking through the Kigali Genocide Memorial Museum on our first full day in Kigali. It opened my eyes to the terror, cruelty, and hatred that enveloped the genocide.

The genocide occurred after decades of social disparity between two tribes, the Hutu and the Tutsis. This segregation was instigated by both the Belgians and French at different periods during the 20th century. I’m not going to do the genocide justice explaining how it came about, so I highly recommend you read more of the history here. Below is a picture I took that provides an inside view of how the Hutu took control of the country.

Hutu Ten Commandments

Picture courtesy of Casey Deck

The museum didn’t hold back in visuals and stories, sharing the gory details and harsh realities so many Rwandans faced during that time. I read stories about families who were entirely wiped out, women who were raped by men infected with HIV, children – no matter the age – who were ripped from their families’ arms and brutally murdered. As I made my way through the museum, I became increasingly more and more emotional. As I was taking it all in, I realized my group had walked ahead of me and I was going through most of the rooms alone. I entered a room of photos upon photos of faces of those were killed. Their eyes stared only back at me in that moment and I felt tears welling up in my own eyes.

Victims of the Rwandan Genocide.

Picture courtesy of John Malangone

Children who lost their lives in the Rwandan Genocide.

Picture courtesy of Casey Deck

After seeing and processing all of those beautiful faces, the next set of rooms were full of skulls and bones and the clothes people were wearing the day they died. Much of the clothes you could tell were stained with dried blood. It was then that I completely broke down and cried.

Clothing worn by the victims of the Rwandan Genocide.

Picture courtesy of John Malangone

During my time in Rwanda, I gathered that nearly everyone in the country had been impacted by the genocide in one way or another. In one particular English lesson, we asked the HHC beneficiaries we were teaching what their birthdays were. A handful mentioned January 1st and the volunteers and I realized after the fact that it was likely because they didn’t remember their actual birthdays since their parents had died in the genocide.

I also had a chance to have an intimate conversation with the owner of Yambi Guesthouse, the hotel we stayed at, one day after class on its porch.

Yambi House in Kigali, Rwanda

Picture courtesy of John Malangone

Patrick shared that his parents were refugees living in Uganda when the genocide happened. Three months later, they came back to Rwanda after being asked to return and help rebuild. When they arrived, he told me that there were still lifeless bodies scattered all over the streets. He also learned that his grandfather, uncle, two aunts and all of his cousins had been murdered. I couldn’t even fathom how that kind of experience would affect a 14-year-old boy. The most tragic part is that so many Rwandans have similar stories like Patrick’s. It really put things into perspective.

Rwanda Genocide Museum

The Beauty in Rebuilding Rwanda

Despite their horrific past, the people of Rwanda have miraculously found forgiveness in their hearts to move forward and live in harmony. This movement was led by Paul Kagame, Rwanda’s current president, shortly after the genocide as he empowered his country to forgive and find peace. Rwanda’s official view toward ethnicity is that there is no longer a divide of Hutu and Tutsi – they are Rwandan. You’ll hear Rwandans today refer to themselves as “one people” – an incredible feat, considering the tragedy that happened only 25 years ago. As a result, Rwanda is now arguably the safest country in Africa today. There’s something amazingly inspiring and beautiful about how Rwandans have been able to rebuild their country and move past a massacre of such grand scale.

Rwanda Genocide 25 years Anniversary

Going into my trip, I had a strong perception of what Rwanda would be like. Growing up in the States, I was haunted by images I’d seen in the media and conditioned to think of African countries as poor and in need of constant aid. On top of that, thinking to what the ramifications of a city pained by genocide would look like, I imagined a very run down, poverty-stricken city. But Rwanda was so different than what I had expected, in the best way possible.

The City

I was elated to see that Kigali in particular was a functioning and modern city, bustling with cars and ‘moto-taxis’ and full of hotels, stores, bars, and restaurants. You could just feel positive energy electrifying the city and I knew on my first drive through the city that I wanted to explore and expose myself to as much as I could.

A Moto Taxi in Kigali.

Picture courtesy of Matt Creaser

The first afternoon we were there, a few volunteers and I ventured to the market where meat, fruits and vegetables, and clothing were being sold. What an experience that was! As soon as we began walking through and touching all of the beautiful fabrics, we were welcomed by many of the working women. They brought up pictures of dresses, pants, and skirts on their phones and told us we could pick any fabric and they’d make anything we wanted in a matter of hours. Their tenacity to sell was strong and I knew I wanted a piece of Rwanda to bring home with me, so I happily purchased a pair of elephant-patterned cotton pants (that I love and have been wearing to bed nearly every night since being home).

Kimironko Market in Kigali, Rwanda

Picture courtesy of John Malangone

Kimironko Market textiles.

Woman in the Kimironko Market.

Picture courtesy of John Malangone

The volunteers and I also headed out one night after teaching to let loose at an art gallery that transformed to a bar and dance party at night. It was eclectic and full of life. The DJ was spinning a mix of both American and African beats and we quickly found ourselves on the dance floor, practicing our best moves with some of the locals. I couldn’t help grinning ear to ear and absolutely loving every minute.

Kelly and her co-workers have fun at a bar in Kigali.

The Community

While there are certainly some more commercialized areas of Kigali, there are also areas where poverty is more prevalent, where we happened to spend most of our time. The majority of the beneficiaries we were teaching came from more financially disadvantaged situations. I learned that many didn’t have running water at home and a few even lived at the local orphanage.

Because of our exposure to Kigali’s poverty, the other volunteers and I talked at length about its effects. While we agreed it was eye-opening and humbling for us to be exposed to it, we admitted we were envious of the beneficiaries. Because despite their financial state, they were rich in so many other ways.

Rwandans didn’t seem to be consumed by the tight grip of technology like so many of us experience in Western countries. Kids happily played and ran around in their front yards, instead of glued to their TVs. Schoolchildren walked to and from school together, holding hands and laughing, instead of their heads buried in their smartphones. It reminded me of the days when I was a kid, before we had computers and cell phones, when life just felt more simple and care-free.

Children of Rwanda

Picture courtesy of Casey Deck

Rwandan children out having fun.

Picture courtesy of Casey Deck

On the 25 minute walk to and from the community hub we taught at, adults and children alike would wave at us and gleefully say ‘hello!’ I couldn’t remember the last time – if any time – a stranger in Chicago waved at me and said hello as I walked by. On one particular walk to the community hub, a 2-year-old girl ran up to us and hugged each of us. Her mother looked on, her face beaming. In America, we’d yell at our child if they ran up to a stranger, for fear of kidnapping (or worse). The trusting nature and strong sense of community among the Rwandans instantly made your heart fill with love and happiness.

V2I volunteers walking home.

Picture courtesy of Rosh Davis

The best part of my day was when the beneficiaries came into class with a smile and ready to shake your hand or give you a hug. The Rwandans could not have been more kind or welcoming to us. The feelings I had being surrounded by them each and every day is something I will never forget. 

Smiles at HHC Rwanda Community Hub.

Picture courtesy of Rosh Davis

Venturing to Impact in Rwanda

Our time on-site with Venture2Impact during the week I volunteered was three-fold: 

To teach the beneficiaries of HHC Rwanda (ages 10-70) computer skills and English – The competitive educational and economic environment in Rwanda increasingly demands computer literacy skills and the English language. Because of this, our goal was to provide foundational skills so they could compete favorably in the job market and work their way around educational activities.

We worked with a wide range of literacy when it came to English, as some spoke fairly fluently, while some could barely speak a few words. Regardless, we found our ways to teach and communicate, whether it was through facial expressions, hand gestures or writing out what we were saying instead (I found many of them could read English). We had so much fun getting to know the beneficiaries on a more personal level through games we played and the English we practiced in class. I personally had never taught English in my life, so I was learning as I went but found it so rewarding when I saw the group I was working with say their sentences in perfect English in front of the class.

Kelly Nash works with her group in English class.

Picture courtesy of Casey Deck

Computer class proved more challenging because not only were we teaching computer skills, we were communicating in English, which not everyone spoke or knew. Most had little access to computers (a few mentioned they hadn’t used a computer in years!) and many didn’t have basic computer literacy. We were doing what most of us would consider the simplest of tasks, like how to turn the computer on, how to type, how to navigate to programs like the internet, and how to search for things on Google. One day, I was helping one of the beneficiaries, Joselyne, search for restaurants in Kigali. As I was guiding her, I saw her eyes light up and a smile appear on her face when she saw the page of results pop up. Something that we would consider a norm was magic to her. 

Kelly Nash teaches one of the HHC beneficiaries, Joselyn, computer skills.

Picture courtesy of Rosh Davis

Computer class at the HHC Rwanda community hub.

Picture courtesy of Matt Creaser

During the week, we helped the beneficiaries also create Gmail accounts. On our last day of class, we began passing out our email addresses and I secretly hoped they’d remember how to log-in to their accounts so we could communicate long after I was back in the States. At the time of writing this, it hasn’t been even two weeks since I’ve been home and I’ve already received a handful of emails. Each and every one I’ve received has been more precious than the last.

Computer class in Rwanda.

Picture courtesy of Matt Creaser

To empower marginalized women and young mothers (roughly ages 18-30) in the community with business trainings – In the past, many Rwandan women were expected to stay at home and tend to the families. Nowadays, it’s customary for the women to work as well. Our goal was to train women who own their business on subjects such as customer segmentation, customer service and value proposition. We worked with the women two days during the week we were on-site and I learned of their varying businesses, ranging from selling shoes to food to makeup.

Rwandan businesswomen hard at work.

Picture courtesy of Rosh Davis

I became particularly close to the two women, Sandrine and Natasha, who I worked exclusively with during the week. Both had their own clothing business; Sandrine sold clothes, while Natasha specialized in undergarments and swimsuits. While it was my mission to help them understand the lesson plan and put it into practice in the respective activity each day, I found it was more important for me to listen and empower them through our conversations in English. Looking back, it’s the strong connection we shared that will stay with me when I think of my time in Rwanda. They both spoke extremely good English, so we were able to relate to things on a deeper level. They asked me about my life in America, what my family was like, and if I knew how to drive a car. In turn, I wanted to know how they ran their business and what their life was like in Rwanda. 

Kelly sits with Natasha and Sandrine during class.

On my last day with them, I knew I couldn’t realistically hug them good-bye with the hope that maybe I’d see them again. I instinctively gave them my contact information so they could message me and connect with me long after I left. Every day since I’ve been back, receiving a message on WhatsApp, Facebook Messenger or Instagram from Sandrine and Natasha has instantly brightened my day. In this regard, I am so beyond thankful for technology. 

To educate HHC Rwanda employees on the importance of social media – While HHC corporate has a strong presence on social, HHC Rwanda previously had none. I was put in charge to create two trainings on social media to present to HHC Rwanda employees and help them create their own social media accounts to raise awareness and gain financial support.

Kelly Nash introduces herself to HHC Rwanda.

Picture courtesy of Matt Creaser

Kelly Nash teaching social media at HHC Rwanda.

Picture courtesy of Casey Deck

Kelly helps one of the HHC employees create a Twitter account.

Picture courtesy of Rosh Davis

One of the most rewarding days of my trip happened to be the last day when we were working with HHC. We had just finished the second part of my social media training and the Director of HHC Rwanda kindly asked me to go to his office and help him and his colleague set up their Facebook page. My co-worker, John, and I agreed and I taught them the steps to do so. By the time we left, HHC Rwanda was up and running with their page (check it out here!) and the director had invited all of his 4,000+ friends to “Like” it (😂). 

Kelly Nash helping to create the HHC Rwanda Facebook page.

Picture courtesy of John Malangone

I checked in on the page before I boarded the plane home later that night and noticed they already had 55 fans and had made two post updates. They have since gained more fans and are consistently posting almost daily. They also set up their Twitter account the week after we left with the second set of volunteers! This is a huge testament to the fearless leader of HHC Rwanda, Innocent Habimfura.

Kelly and Innocent, the Director of HHC Rwanda.

Picture courtesy of John Malangone

The Impact Rwanda Left on Me

When you go into a volunteering opportunity like the one I had, all you’re really thinking about is how you’re going to be able to impact those you are helping. You don’t give much thought to what you’ll receive in return. While the V2I volunteers and I certainly had the opportunity to leave a lasting impact, I can say with certainty that we all departed feeling that Rwanda left a lasting impact on us. We’ve still been communicating via WhatsApp on our experience and how grateful we are for the lessons it taught us.

V2I Volunteers stand and smile in front of the HHC Community Hub in Rwanda

Picture courtesy of Carol Payne

Stand Proud of Who You Are 

In one of our English lessons, we taught the beneficiaries ways they could describe themselves. We practiced saying a handful of adjectives out loud and then opened up the room and asked if anyone wanted to come up to the front and say “I am (an adjective)” in English. Immediately, hands shot up and one by one, they walked to the front of the class, standing tall and proudly describing themselves such as “𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨,” “𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥,” “𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘶𝘭,” “𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘢𝘮𝘢𝘻𝘪𝘯𝘨.” It was so uplifting and empowering to see how the women especially had no qualms or doubts with getting in front of the room and describing themselves this way.

HHC beneficiary

Picture courtesy of Casey Deck

It got me thinking. What if women did this same exercise in the States? What would we say? Who would be brave enough to describe themselves in that way? As women, we typically have a hard time being open and proud of who we are. We can feel awkward and uncomfortable when we talk about ourselves in a positive manner because we don’t want to rub people the wrong way or feel like we are bragging. But the women of Rwanda reminded me that we need to ignore those “icky” feelings and own our power and stand proud of who we are. We should be able to say we are strong, kind, beautiful and amazing with pride and positivity. Because the truth is – we ARE those things and we shouldn’t minimize any of it. 

Pursue Your Dreams

We all have a dream. No matter who we are, who our family is, where we live, what our circumstance is – we all have a dream and it’s up to us what we do about it. That very thing is something that can connect us with people, even those who live halfway across the world. “𝘊𝘢𝘯 𝘐 𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨? 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮.” Natasha said this to me in one of our business trainings. I turned to her and asked her what her dream was. “𝘔𝘺 𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘈𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘢 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘣𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘵𝘰 𝘙𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘢 𝘴𝘰 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘺,” she said in her near-perfect English.

She told me this, only 45 minutes into meeting each other. I admired her vulnerability and ambition. Even though Natasha may not get the opportunity to move to the States, I saw the silver lining in that she can certainly pursue her dream of owning her business in her home country and providing for her family, something that was unheard of in Rwanda for women only two decades ago. And that in of itself is pretty incredible. 

Kelly smiles with Natasha, one of the HHC beneficiaries.

That conversation with Natasha opened my eyes to the fact that she and the other beneficiaries refused to be victims of their circumstances. They are working towards their dreams and putting in the effort to improve themselves and learn new skills along the way. They are seizing every opportunity and soaking in each lesson so they can create a better life for themselves. It was a reminder for me to do the same. Life’s too short for excuses.

Make Your Mark with Kindness

I have never felt kindness in the way that I did during my time in Rwanda. There was never a shortage of warm hugs, loving touches, sincere smiles and joyful high fives from the people there. When they smiled at you, you felt it in your heart. When they laughed with you, you felt a connection. When they touched you, you felt their gratitude and compassion.

Kelly goofs off with the beneficiaries after computer class.

On our last day in English class, we discussed the topic of holidays since it just so happened to be Valentine’s Day. One of the activities during class was to write notes to our valentines – the people in our respective groups that day. I watched in delight how seriously the beneficiaries took the task and shared out their thoughts on the notecards they had written. It was the smallest act of kindness, but one that went a long way and filled the room with love.

Valentine's Kelly received from the HHC beneficiaries.

Even though Joselyne, my student and friend in computer class, wasn’t in my group during English, I had taken a notecard to write her a valentine and handed it to her when I arrived to our computer lesson. I helped read what I wrote to her and she instantly flashed me a smile and gave me a big hug. After class when we were saying our final good-byes, she grabbed the interpreter, Ali, and walked over to me with him in tow. She said something to Ali in Kinyarwanda and he looked over at me and smiled. “She says she loves you very much and she will miss you dearly. And she will pray for you and hopes you will come back to Rwanda.” I could have cried right there.

 Joselyne, like many of the other Rwandans I met, taught me the power of kindness and reminded me to spread it every chance I get. A smile to a stranger, a hello to a passerby, a compliment to a friend, a thoughtful note to our partner – the momentum of one small gesture can make a difference and lead to a ripple effect of warmth and compassion, something our world so desperately needs. 

Kelly and Joselyn smile on.

I write and speak a lot about ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴍᴀʀᴋ when it comes to L&I. ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴍᴀʀᴋ is a simple phrase, but one that’s jam-packed with meaning and purpose. It means that we have a chance to create an impact. To stand out. To be women of influence – whether that’s in our family, our friend group, our community, or halfway around the world. We never know how big of an impact we can be on someone’s life. Just by taking the time to get to know someone, or extending a hand to help, or showing kindness in some way – the littlest actions that we can take can make a difference on someone’s life. We have the power to change the world in a positive way and touch the lives we come into contact with – we just need to go out and spread kindness every chance we get.

We Are One People

I mentioned earlier how Rwandans today refer to themselves as “one people.” That saying will stick with me forever because it carries even more meaning to me now. Through my experience in volunteering, I was reminded that we are one people of the world. No matter our language, our religion, our skin color, our upbringing or our way of life – we all belong to one human race. Despite our differences, we share the most critical commonalities. We are all striving to provide. We are all aiming to create our best lives possible. We are all craving love and connection. And at the end of the day, it’s that what unites us. We are one world and one people.

English class in Kigali, Rwanda.

Photo courtesy of Matt Creaser

My Immense Gratitude

Thank you to my loved ones and donors who supported this cause. Thank you to HHC for providing a safe space for us to educate and be a beacon of light for its beneficiaries. Thank you to V2I for creating this beautiful opportunity and allowing me to be a part of it. And thank you for taking the time to read about my trip and the impact it had on me.  The level of gratitude I have for this experience and the people I met through it is beyond measure.

V2I Volunteers laughing and walking after class.

Picture courtesy of Rosh Davis

It may have been my first time to Rwanda, but I left knowing that it would not be my last.

Pink lipstick stain

Kelly, Founder of Lipstick & Ink
Kelly Nash

Kelly Nash is a Chicago-based writer, speaker, career advisor, and founder of Lipstick & Ink®. In addition, she works full-time in technology as a Success Manager at Salesforce and has over 10 years of digital marketing experience. Kelly has been featured in Thrive Global, International Association of Women, General Assembly, Salesforce, SheFactor, and Six Degrees Society. She is also in the process of writing her first book.

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Filed Under: life, life changes, mind body & soul, realtalk, travel Tagged With: giving back, impact, life, life changes, personal thoughts, realtalk, reflections, travel, volunteering

About Kelly Nash

Kelly Nash is a Chicago-based writer, speaker, career advisor, and founder of Lipstick & Ink®. In addition, she works full-time in technology as a Success Manager at Salesforce and has over 10 years of digital marketing experience. Kelly has been featured in Thrive Global, International Association of Women, General Assembly, Salesforce, SheFactor, and Six Degrees Society. She is also in the process of writing her first book.

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Comments

  1. Jeff V says

    March 3, 2020 at 8:40 am

    Kelly! You’re right, it is long, but i can certainly appreciate long blog posts, as it’s often difficult to get all those feelings and experiences across with an abridged version. I loved it! Especially this part:

    “Because of our exposure to Kigali’s poverty, the other volunteers and I talked at length about its effects. While we agreed it was eye-opening and humbling for us to be exposed to it, we admitted we were envious of the beneficiaries. Because despite their financial state, they were rich in so many other ways.”

    This trip was really special, not just for you, but for the beneficiaries as well. ♥️♥️♥️

    Reply
    • Kelly Nash says

      March 3, 2020 at 11:54 am

      Thank you so much for reading the entirety of the post, Jeff! I so appreciate you doing so and leaving a comment too! The trip was incredibly special and one I’ll certainly never forget 🙂

      Reply
  2. Jill V says

    March 7, 2020 at 7:19 am

    Kelly: What an amazing experience you had! I loved the part was when the women stood up and described themselves in a positive manner! You are right about how uncomfortable it would make women here in the US to do the same.
    Your description of the people of Rwanda was so beautiful. I could feel their joy, love, enthusiasm, and desire. I know you will never forget them!
    And they will never forget you!
    Continue to make your Mark girl. You inspire us all!

    Reply
    • Kelly Nash says

      March 7, 2020 at 3:59 pm

      Hi Jill – thanks so much for reading and for your thoughtful comment! It was definitely an experience that I will never forget!

      Reply

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Kelly, Founder of Lipstick & Ink

Welcome to Lipstick & Ink®, your home for everything career, wellness and #realtalk inspired. I’m Kelly, a Chicago-based advertising tech professional, career advisor, writer, speaker, events host, and goal getter.

Whether we’re discussing career advancement, the job search or keeping our mental health in check, I encourage you to own your power and make your mark - one lipstick stain at a time.

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Kelly💋 Career Advisor & Writer
I was in a meeting when Adam texted me, telling me I was in a meeting when Adam texted me, telling me to check Twitter with a screenshot of a tweet: "The US Capitol is now on lockdown." Immediately, my heart started to race and my first thought was, 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙣𝙤𝙬?
⠀
Just when we think we're taking two steps forward, we take one massive step back. We all know what we saw yesterday. And the reality is that our country is still divided over what to even call yesterday’s events. 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐝, 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐥𝐲, 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐬𝐚𝐰. My loss of control feeling then resurfaced, something I've certainly grown accustomed to these last 10 months. The utter shock spiraled me into checking my Twitter feed and watching the news for 𝟷𝟸 𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝. I couldn't fall asleep until 𝟹𝚊𝚖.
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I woke up this morning wondering how I was going to get through the rest of this week. 𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘐 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘦𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴, 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘺 𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘦, 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘥 𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘺? Here’s what I came up with:
♡ 𝗙𝗼𝗰𝘂𝘀 𝗼𝗻 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗹. Minimize the news and social media you take in. I'm distancing myself and dialing in on protecting my energy.⠀
♡ 𝗪𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗼𝗻 𝗽𝗮𝗽𝗲𝗿. I recently started writing morning pages (thanks to @juliacameronlive), where you start the day writing 3 pages of long-form writing about anything. I wrote about how I was feeling in today’s pages.⠀
♡ 𝗚𝗼 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗮 𝘄𝗮𝗹𝗸. Adam and I went for a walk before work to get fresh air, & clear our heads.⠀
♡ 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗸. Don’t pretend it didn’t happen. Check in with others (including people you work with) and connect by sharing your thoughts and feelings too. If you need time to process, be open with your manager and ask.⠀
♡ 𝗣𝗿𝗶𝗼𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗶𝘇𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗹-𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴. Take breaks during the work day. End work at a reasonable hour and do something that gives you joy. I plan on doing yoga to calm my mind & lose myself in a book. {continued in comments}
My goal in 2020 was to complete my book's manuscri My goal in 2020 was to complete my book's manuscript. As you probably know, I didn’t come close to reaching it since I'm still working on it. And #itsokay. Old me would have dwelled on it, beating myself up for not accomplishing it. But I now know this: 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐚𝐥, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐭.
⠀
I wrote my 2020 goal down and pinned it on the wall in front of my desk for me to see every day last year, to push me to put my vision into action. It was my 𝘯𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘩 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳, a reminder to myself to keep going, even on the days I was discouraged. It led me to get serious about my goal, hiring a book coach, and 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯.
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While I didn't finish in the timeframe I had originally hoped, I myself know how much thought, time, and dedication went into attempting to achieve my goal. Looking back, there was 𝑺𝑶 much progress.
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January, as we know, is a time to set new goals for the year ahead. I'll be thinking about mine and writing them down this month once again to keep me motivated throughout the year. My reminder to you (and me for that matter) for the next 12 months is as you work towards your goals is to 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘺.
⠀
𝐑𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐭𝐡 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐰𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐠𝐨𝐚𝐥𝐬 -- 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞💋
[𝗡𝗘𝗪 𝗕𝗟𝗢𝗚 𝗣𝗢𝗦𝗧] I [𝗡𝗘𝗪 𝗕𝗟𝗢𝗚 𝗣𝗢𝗦𝗧] I love NYE - not for the parties, the dresses, or really even the ball drop. I love it because I treat it as a day to look inward, to quiet my mind, and reflect. Every NYE since middle school, I've taken time to write in my journal and reflect on the year, to acknowledge my growth, to accept what didn’t go as planned, and to appreciate the life I am creating. The past few years, I've shared a lot of those thoughts on L&I. This year though, I went back and forth as to if I still wanted to share a recap given how intense this year has been. 2020 was taxing for so many and I wanted to be sensitive to that, especially when the end of the year recaps can cross into “𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘦!” territory.
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But I sincerely believe 𝙧𝙚𝙛𝙡𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙞𝙨 𝙖 𝙠𝙚𝙮 𝙥𝙞𝙚𝙘𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡 𝙜𝙧𝙤𝙬𝙩𝙝. It's important that we take that time to look back on our year and celebrate, especially before we rush into the goal-setting madness that accompanies a new year. We learn a lot about ourselves when we reflect, and write down and share our wins and our shortcomings. Not only that, we learn a lot from each other when we read these type of reflections. This year especially is important to recognize our growth because of the hardships we endured.
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Despite how challenging 2020 has been, I do believe 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙮𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙩𝙖𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙪𝙨 𝙪𝙣𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙡𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙬𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙪𝙨 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙨. I want to share those lessons and things I personally learned about myself, because this year will be one that we’ll never forget. In my newest post on L&I, I share:
⠀
☆ What Went Well⠀
☆ What Didn't Go So Well⠀
☆ What I Learned⠀
⠀
You can read it all via the link in my bio! I hope that you too use the last day of 2020 to take a moment and reflect and truly appreciate how far you've come. Because damn, it was a 𝘳𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘳𝘤𝘰𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐢𝐭. 𝐖𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐢𝐭. Wishing you a healthy, safe, and prosperous 2021 ahead ♥️
Living through this year has been challenging on a Living through this year has been challenging on a number of levels. There’s no doubt about it. Between the pandemic and the upheaval of our lives that’s come along with it, to the racial injustice many of us had our eyes opened to, to the ongoing political strife and divide, to the deaths of our loved ones, it has been a 𝐋𝐎𝐓.
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It’s been a common refrain ever since March to wish 2020 𝙖 𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙝 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙𝙗𝙮𝙚. I certainly don’t blame anyone for it. But even in the darkest of moments, it's important for us to not be consumed by it and instead seek the light. Find the good, find the lessons, find the realizations 𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘥𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱𝘴.
⠀
Which is why I asked the L&I community – 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟎 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮?
⠀
Swipe to see some of the top responses that were shared. You can also see the rest of the responses in a new blog post on thelipstickandink.com, via the link in my bio. Perspective and perseverance will always see their way through💋
As women, we are faced with 𝙖 𝙢𝙪𝙡𝙩𝙞𝙩𝙪𝙙𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙤𝙗𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙘𝙡𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙨. And with those come a 𝕔𝕙𝕠𝕚𝕔𝕖:⠀
➸ Those obstacles and challenges can either define us and hold us back from being our most authentic selves⠀
ᴏʀ⠀
➸ We can break free and rise to the women we want and are meant to be.
⠀
Each of these obstacles and challenges I've listed are ones that I've personally faced. Throughout my 20s, I allowed them to consume me, lower my confidence, and ultimately chain me down. I limited my potential for years without even realizing it. But in these last few years in particular, I've learned what it means to 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫. And with that comes making an active choice to let go of what holds me back.
⠀
I bring this up because 𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘴 𝘐'𝘮 𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐'𝘮 𝘤𝘶𝘳𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨. Revisiting the memories and emotions and writing out these experiences is helping me realize just how much I've overcome - and still am overcoming. I'm in no means past all of this as I feel I'm a constant work in progress. But it feels empowering to reflect on how far I've come and have the opportunity to share that with other women. I can't wait to reveal more about my book in the coming weeks. There will definitely be more to come.
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Now, I want to ask you - what do ʏᴏᴜ want to break free from? Are you currently releasing anything that's been holding you back? Let me know in the comments!💋
I’ve seen a quote all over IG & it’s one that I’ve seen a quote all over IG & it’s one that I slowed my scroll to pause and take in: “𝙸 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟶 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚋𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝙸 𝚐𝚘𝚝 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚍. 𝙽𝚘𝚠 𝙸 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟶 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝙸 𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝙸 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎.”
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While living through this year has been challenging on a number of levels, one of the things I hope we can appreciate is the 𝙜𝙞𝙛𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙨𝙥𝙖𝙘𝙚 🎁. I’m not referencing the physical 6 foot distanced space we’ve grown accustomed to. (That part has been hard - I really miss hugging my mom 😭.) I’m talking about the 𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗹 𝘀𝗽𝗮𝗰𝗲 we’ve been given - 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙥𝙖𝙘𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙚, 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙣, 𝙩𝙤 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡, 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚. Through the gift of space, 2020 has been a year in which we’ve learned what we need, what adds value to our lives, and what depletes us.
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For me in particular, 2020 made space for:⠀
🎲.Play and connecing with my inner child⠀
💭 Reflection and journaling⠀
🙅🏻‍♀️ Boundaries and learning to say no⠀
💬 Tough conversations on racial injustice, science and politics⠀
♥️ Connection with others, even when it meant virtually⠀
🌳 Getting outdoors and enjoying every walk and hike I took⠀
🤔 Curiosity into learning more about myself through astrology, human design, shamanism & mediums⠀
📚 My book, a dream of mine since I was a little girl⠀
🦋 Being present and learning the power of slowing down and tuning in
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It’s been a common refrain ever since March to say 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘣𝘺𝘦 𝘵𝘰 2020. And it's crazy to think it will pass in just 24 days. The new year is going to come regardless, but 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙤𝙛 𝙮𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 2021 𝙗𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙮𝙤𝙪? What lessons can we carry with us from 2020 to shape it into the year of freedom and possibility that we are hoping for? How can we continue to 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐞 even as our schedules inevitably fill up, our offices open, and our lives go back to a sense of normalcy?
⠀
I'll tell you what, the space that 2020 created is something I'll certainly be holding onto and ensuring I maintain💋
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