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Confession: 10 Reasons I’m Scared To Be a Mom

April 10, 2019 by Kelly Nash 6 Comments

You read that title right – I am scared to be a mom. Let me give a little backstory first. Growing up, I loved babies. I loved being around them, holding them and playing with them. I thought I’d be married and be a mom by the time I turned 25. But the older I got, the more I wanted to put kids off. A lot of those reasons are in a post I wrote last year about why Adam and I are waiting to have children.

Over the last few months in particular though, I’ve been digging deep and thinking about children more. I think it’s because recently, more people we know are getting pregnant and having kids of their own and my social media newsfeeds are a constant reminder of that. I’ve been asking myself why I still don’t feel ready. Again, a lot of those reasons are in last year’s post. But what I didn’t include in that post – because I don’t think I really realized it then – is that I’m scared.

It’s scary to come right out with that and admit that I’m scared. However, I’m sharing this because I think more women need to talk about their fears and their struggles so other women know they are not alone in the thoughts that they have and the feelings they are going through. I would like to think that I am not alone in this. So, if you’re reading this post and are scared to be a mom too, I’m right there with ya. I’m sharing my reasons why below – be prepared for some #realtalk.

10 Reasons I'm Scared to Be a Mom Pinterest Pin

I’m Scared I’ll Have to Give Up My Dreams

Call me selfish, but I don’t want everything I’ve been working so hard for to come to an end when I have a child. I understand we as women have to re-prioritize our lives when we have children, but I also know that I don’t want to forget about my passions and my goals in the process. I’ve worked really hard to get where I am in my career and I’m hustling day and night to make Lipstick & Ink into something legitimate. And despite the long hours, I make it work balancing both a full-time job and a side hustle.

How in the world would I be able to do that though if I also need to take care of another human? I know realistically it’s probably not possible and something would have to give. But that’s the thing – I don’t want to give up either of them right now.

I’m Scared I Won’t Know What I’m Doing

Give me a school age kid and I got it covered. But put a baby in my arms and tell me I have to take care of him or her and I tense up. I never babysat babies growing up, nor was I ever really around them for long periods of time (aside from my younger sister). I’m afraid I’m going to have my baby and immediately have to call up my mom or a friend to come help Adam and I take care of him or her. I suppose that’s why there’s books and millions of articles on the internet to help prepare you for this sorta thing, but still, I’m just terrified I won’t have any idea of what I’m doing – or that I’ll even be good at it.

I’m Scared of Things Going Wrong

Ever since I was probably in high school, I’ve known that women can have miscarriages. But I didn’t realize how common they were until I began hearing of more and more women having them. Maybe it’s because women are starting to break down the stigma of miscarriage and are being more open about it. Whatever the case, it’s devastating. Hearing that a loved one has gone through that breaks my heart each and every time. It then makes me wonder, what if that happens to me? How would I cope? Could I mentally handle that?

I’m Scared It Will Negatively Affect My Mental Health

Which brings me to my next point. I’ve suffered from depression in the past and I battle anxiety almost every day. In addition to miscarriages, I’ve also heard of women’s hardships with postpartum depression. I am terrified I may be one of those women in the future. While others may consider me as strong and put together, I truthfully have internal struggles every day. I question if I could be mentally strong enough to have a child. The last thing in the world I would want is to have my mental health get in the way of the joys of having a child.

Kelly walks on the steps in downtown Chicago as she reflects.

I’m Scared of My Body Changing

I know this sounds vain. But the truth is, I’ve struggled with my weight since puberty. I yo-yo dieted all through high school and college and carried more weight than I ever would have liked. I’ve changed my diet and exercise routine over the years and have found things that have worked for me. I’m finally at a point in my life where most days, I can look in the mirror and be proud of who I am and how I look.

I am scared that if and when I’m pregnant, as my body changes and I gain weight, that I won’t look or feel beautiful. I am scared that if and when I have my baby, that my body won’t look or feel the same. I am scared that after birth, when I look in the mirror, I won’t be happy with what I see. Me writing this may rub you the wrong way, but this is #realtalk, remember? This is one of my truths.

I’m Scared to Give Birth

My mother is a saint. She gave birth to me without an epidural. How she did it, I have no idea, but I definitely hope to never find out what that feels like. Give me the epidural! Even though that helps lessen the pain, I’m still very uneasy about the idea of giving birth. The contractions, the pushing, the tearing…. not to mention, you can’t even eat during labor. (I just recently found that out and was #mindblown.) To the mommas out there who have given birth, I salute you. You are my heroes.

I’m Scared My Marriage Will Suffer

As I mentioned in this post, I admit that Adam and I have a pretty solid relationship. I know that’s probably annoying for a lot of people to hear, but it’s true. It’s why I am scared that having a child will cause a rift in our relationship. Between the no sleep, the added responsibilities, the balancing of work and baby, I can only imagine the stress that can add to a relationship. I don’t want to become the couple whose lives revolve around their child. I want to still be us and take time for us and be selfish together. I want our marriage to keep thriving and hope that a child won’t affect that.

I’m Scared to Lose My “Me” Time

I’m selfish with my time and I have no qualms in admitting it. I like my time alone. My time alone usually means I am doing something for me, whether it’s writing, reading, going to treat myself to a facial or massage, or even just going for a walk to get some fresh air. I need that time to cope with my anxiety. Having a child, I feel, will affect that time. I am just not ready to give that up yet.

I’m Scared That I’ll Emotionally Scar My Children

Did I have a good childhood? Mostly. But I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t clouded with pain, deceit and control that I’ve carried with me into adulthood. I didn’t realize how much the negative effects of my childhood affected me until I went to therapy a few years ago. It was an eye-opening experience to hear from a completely unbiased person who didn’t know me at all tell me why I was the way I was – and most of it was rooted in my childhood. That weighs on me – heavily.

I don’t want to be the reason my children go to therapy. I don’t want my children to go through what I had to go through. But I’m terrified that in some way, I will replicate what I went through and do some of the things I saw growing up, without even realizing it.

Kelly sits on stairs and reflects what it means to be scared to become a mom.

I’m Scared to Bring Children into This World

My generation has seen some ungodly things already in our lifetime. From the World Trade bombing and 9/11 attacks to school and church shootings to a number of different wars. It’s enough to make you not want to have kids for fear of what their futures might look like. When you hear of people being murdered, mugged and kidnapped, it leaves me in a constant state of paranoia that something might happen to me and I am sure that will be amplified if and when I were to have a child too. This is the world we live in and I’m terrified to bring another human life into it.

This is my confession: I am scared to be a mom.

I’m curious, are you scared to be a mom too? Or were you before you had your own child? If so, what scares/scared you most? Please share your thoughts in the comments!Pink lipstick stain

Kelly, Founder of Lipstick & Ink
Kelly Nash

Kelly Nash is a Chicago-based writer, speaker, career advisor, and founder of Lipstick & Ink®. In addition, she works full-time in technology as a Success Manager at Salesforce and has over 10 years of digital marketing experience. Kelly has been featured in Thrive Global, International Association of Women, General Assembly, Salesforce, SheFactor, and Six Degrees Society. She is also in the process of writing her first book.

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Filed Under: life, realtalk, thoughts Tagged With: personal thoughts, realtalk

About Kelly Nash

Kelly Nash is a Chicago-based writer, speaker, career advisor, and founder of Lipstick & Ink®. In addition, she works full-time in technology as a Success Manager at Salesforce and has over 10 years of digital marketing experience. Kelly has been featured in Thrive Global, International Association of Women, General Assembly, Salesforce, SheFactor, and Six Degrees Society. She is also in the process of writing her first book.

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Comments

  1. Camille Threats says

    May 1, 2019 at 11:49 am

    Bravo to you for admitting your fears because motherhood is a serious commitment even more so than marriage. Almost daily, we see situations arising from individuals who take parenting lightly and the end results are beyond saddening. I am 42, happily married and ecstatically child-free. While many of my friends complain about the workloads of motherhood and having a career, I am able to focus solely on my career while working towards meeting my list of goals. Life does not have to stop when you have children, but there will definitely be MANY changes. Wait until the time is right for you. For me that time never came, and I am just fine with the decision I made. Blessings abound whenever (or if ever) you decide to become a mom!

    Reply
    • Kelly Nash says

      August 29, 2019 at 2:54 pm

      Thank you, Camille! I so appreciate you reading and stopping by to leave your thoughts. Children is not for everyone and who knows, I may never feel “ready.” I think I do want at least one child but for now, I’m focused on my career growth and journey and crossing travels off my bucket list! Being a DINK (dual-income, no kids) couple definitely has its advantages for now 🙂

      Reply
  2. Amanda says

    February 28, 2020 at 9:48 am

    All your worries are spot on. You WILL go through all of those things. But it’s the hardest thing you will love. You’ll have to learn the new you and how to make time for yourself. Your career doesn’t have to suffer (it will be different and you’ll have to learn how to blend (notice I didn’t say balance), you need a good support system. You absolutely will not know what you’re doing, but that’s when you and your husband need to be on the same page and communicate more than you ever have. You will find the both of you will begin to parent in tandem and you just do it, you don’t think twice. You’re not alone in your fears, the fact you recognize them is huge and you’re already a better mother than most. All children need is love.

    I work 60 hours a week, I’m a top performer at the most prestigious medical device company in the world and I have mom guilt. I won’t lie to you. But when you get home and they run and give you the biggest hug…it is the BEST feeling ever. I wouldn’t change a thing. I love my career, I love me, I love my husband…but damn, I love my children too. You’ll be surprised at how much you will be able to handle…and still be YOU 😘. You can do it all 🙂

    It’s never the perfect time. Whenever it happens it will all work out. Promise!

    Reply
    • Kelly Nash says

      March 1, 2020 at 9:42 am

      Amanda, thank you for taking the time to read my post and share your thoughts on this topic. I so appreciate all of your encouraging words – they definitely helped me feel better! It’s inspiring to know that you’re an ambitious, working mom who makes it all work! I can only hope that I can do the same someday.

      Reply
  3. Maegen says

    March 2, 2021 at 11:38 am

    I really appreciate that you wrote this. Honestly, I feel like I wrote it myself because that phase of my life is coming up quicker than I anticipated. It’s a conversation my boyfriend and I have been having, and you put it all so eloquently. Also, reading Amanda’s comment back to you was really comforting for me personally. Knowing that these fears are valid but that it could make us better parents for being concerned in the first place helps take a weight off of my very inexperienced shoulders.
    Also, really love the blog, and I’m giving you a follow on Instagram. Thank you for being so open!

    Reply
    • Kelly Nash says

      March 3, 2021 at 8:52 pm

      Thank you for reading and for your comment, Maegen! I’m glad to know it gave you comfort in some way! It’s oddly comforting for me too to know I’m not alone with these feelings. I know if/when the time comes, having a child will be all worth it in the end. At least that’s what everyone keeps telling me! Hang in there and please stay in touch!

      Reply

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HI THERE!

Kelly, Founder of Lipstick & Ink

Welcome to Lipstick & Ink®, your home for everything career, wellness and #realtalk inspired. I’m Kelly, a Chicago-based advertising tech professional, career advisor, writer, speaker, events host, and goal getter.

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𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙙𝙤𝙚𝙨 𝙇𝙞𝙥𝙨 𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙙𝙤𝙚𝙨 𝙇𝙞𝙥𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙠 & 𝙄𝙣𝙠 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙢𝙚𝙖𝙣? When I started L&I three years ago, I wanted to be intentional about the branding and what it stood for. After careful thought, L&I was born along with a clear, intentional message and call to action for all women who interact with the brand: 𝘖𝘸𝘯 𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘗𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳 & 𝘔𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘔𝘢𝘳𝘬.
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ʟɪᴘꜱᴛɪᴄᴋ - 𝗢𝘄𝗻 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗣𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 💄⠀
There is power in wearing lipstick. A woman wearing lipstick embodies self-confidence and empowerment. She’s the woman who looks at herself in the mirror and thinks, I am powerful. She’s the woman who stands out in a crowd. She’s the woman who knows she can do anything she sets her mind to. With just a few swipes of her favorite color, she feels invigorated and ready to own her power and take on the world.
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ɪɴᴋ - 𝗠𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗠𝗮𝗿𝗸 🖊⠀
There is power in a woman’s words and how she puts them to action. Thinking about what she wants out of life and putting it pen to paper creates vision and clarity. By writing in ink, she commits to making what she wants a reality. For a woman in pursuit of her goals and dreams is determined to make her mark.
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𝗟𝗶𝗽𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗸 & 𝗜𝗻𝗸 𝗶𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗺𝗮𝗻 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘂𝗽 𝗮𝘀 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗰 𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳. 𝘐𝘵’𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘢𝘪𝘮𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘥𝘷𝘰𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘴. 𝗜𝘁’𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗺𝗮𝗻 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗸 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗼𝘁𝘆𝗽𝗲𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗴𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘀 𝗰𝗲𝗶𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀. 𝘐𝘵’𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘵. 𝗜𝘁’𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗺𝗮𝗻 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗲 𝗴𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘀𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀💋
"𝙄 𝙙𝙤𝙣𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙥𝙚𝙤𝙥𝙡𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙄'𝙢 𝙗𝙧𝙖𝙜𝙜𝙞𝙣𝙜." "𝙈𝙮 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙠 𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙖𝙠𝙨 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙞𝙩𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛." "𝙎𝙚𝙡𝙛-𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙢𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙞𝙨 𝙨𝙤 𝙪𝙣𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙩𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚." "𝙄 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙪𝙗 𝙥𝙚𝙤𝙥𝙡𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙧𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙬𝙖𝙮."
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These are some of the reasons women hold back in promoting themselves in the workplace. 𝗜 𝘂𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻. Going from a small company to Salesforce seven years ago changed that all for me though. I was a small fish in a VERY big pond (and that's when we were under 20,000 employees - now we've surpassed over 50,000!).
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I quickly realized that 𝘪𝘧 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘷𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘣𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺, 𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱 𝘴𝘬𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘴, 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘶𝘵 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦. I had to share my wins. I had to manage up to manager and send the positive feedback I received from my clients and other employees. I had to showcase the value I brought to my clients, to my team, and to the company. 𝙄 𝙝𝙖𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚 𝙢𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛-𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙢𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣.
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Here's the tea, friends. 𝗦𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗶𝘀 𝗡𝗢𝗧 𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗴𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴. It's showcasing your 𝘃𝗮𝗹𝘂𝗲. It's delivering facts. It's sharing your learnings so you can help others. 𝑰𝒕'𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒂𝒅𝒗𝒐𝒄𝒂𝒕𝒆. In today’s corporate world, going to work, doing your job and hoping you get the recognition you deserve isn’t going to cut it anymore. If you want to advance in your career, get promoted and nab raises, you need to speak up and share your wins.
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If you're not promoting yourself, ask yourself why. 𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩'𝙨 𝙝𝙤𝙡𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠?💋
Do you 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬? I recently joined a webinar by @insideoutincubator about the 𝟭𝟬 "𝗿𝘂𝗹𝗲𝘀" 𝘄𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻 𝗳𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗯𝗲 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗽𝘀 & 𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗴𝗿𝗼𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗳𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆:
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☞ Rule 1: 𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐄𝐥𝐬𝐞 𝐇𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐀𝐧𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐫 - You doubt what you know & assume others know more than you.⠀
☞ Rule 2: 𝐋𝐞𝐭 𝐌𝐲 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐈𝐭𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 - You think you don't deserve to be in the spotlight or don't want others to think you're bragging.⠀
☞ Rule 3: 𝐈'𝐥𝐥 𝐃𝐨 𝐗 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐈 𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 - You fear being "found out" or don't contribute until you feel you have ALL the answers.⠀
☞ Rule 4: 𝐈 𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐈 𝐄𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐈𝐭 - Even after you've been hired or promoted, you feel you have to go above and beyond, saying yes to everything, afraid to say no.⠀
☞ Rule 5: 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐜 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬 𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐒𝐞𝐥𝐟𝐢𝐬𝐡 - Reaching out to specific people (i.e. leaders) will make you seem self-serving so you connect only with people you feel safe with.⠀
☞ Rule 6: 𝐌𝐲 𝐓𝐨-𝐃𝐨 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐃𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐌𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐲 - You get stuck in reactive mode and don't give yourself time to work on more of the forward-looking strategic projects.⠀
☞ Rule 7: 𝐎𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐳𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞'𝐬 𝐇𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 - You don't want to rub anyone the wrong way and constantly worry about other's feelings.⠀
☞ Rule 8: 𝐀𝐦𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐔𝐠𝐥𝐲 - You make yourself small and defer to others to dictate your path.⠀
☞ Rule 9: 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐌𝐲 𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐨𝐨𝐫 - You believe you have to be productive 100% of the time and beat yourself up when you're not feeling your best.⠀
☞ Rule 10: 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐬 𝐌𝐲 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 - You take on everything and think you have to solve everyone's problems & say sorry way too often.
⠀
Which resonate with you? Some of these I've overcome the last few years, but it’s a kick in the butt reminder that there are a few (3, 4, 6, 10) I still struggle with & want to break! Which do you want to break?💋
[𝙽𝙴𝚆 𝙱𝙻𝙾𝙶 𝙿𝙾𝚂𝚃] 𝘗𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘥. While certainly an overused term, it’s definitely not overrated. Personal branding is more important than ever as it helps you to 𝙗𝙪𝙞𝙡𝙙 𝙖 𝙧𝙚𝙥𝙪𝙩𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬𝙣 𝙛𝙤𝙧, 𝙙𝙞𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙨, 𝙞𝙣𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙫𝙖𝙡𝙪𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙞𝙣𝙛𝙡𝙪𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙚, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙪𝙡𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙡𝙮, 𝙖𝙙𝙫𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙚𝙧. Regardless if you work in the corporate world or consider yourself an entrepreneur (or both!), knowing and cultivating your personal brand is essential.
⠀
Because here’s the thing – you already have a personal brand, whether you realize it or not. 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗮 𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗱. However, understanding the power of your brand can be difficult and requires self-awareness, intention, and action.
⠀
If you’re unsure or curious about how to get started with building and boosting your brand, I've developed a 5 step formula to do just that! You can read more about these 5 steps and your best path forward in L&I's newest blog post, found via the link in my bio!💋
3 years ago today, I pressed “Publish” on Lips 3 years ago today, I pressed “Publish” on Lipstick & Ink. Even though it was only a blog at the time, I was terrified to put myself out there. I worried about what people would think about me, wondered if my site was good enough, and questioned if what I was writing would even resonate or help others.
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At the same time, it was exhilarating and freeing. I was finally writing again, something that had been a passion of mine since I was a kid. I was in my purpose, sharing my knowledge of how I had grown my career and guiding women on how they could do the same. And most of all, I was pushing myself out of my comfort zone, facing fears I had avoided for years.
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Since February 22, 2018, I have grown more than I thought possible. From my blog to expanding to events to speaking to advising clients to writing my first book, I continue to find ways to grow L&I and make an impact. And I can feel in my bones this is only the beginning.

Through these last 3 years, if I could share one piece of advice as to what I’ve learned , it’s this: OWN YOUR POWER. Own the power of yours that’s generated from within, not outside of yourself. Your authentic power. Don’t give your power away. Don’t allow the thoughts of others to get in your way. Don’t compare yourself to others and wonder how you will measure up. Don’t hold back on what you want to do because you are concerned about how others are going to feel about it.
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There is always a choice to make in terms of whether you decide to own your power or give it away. And these days, I choose my power. I choose me. My hope is that you too honor who you are and choose yourself. Because when you choose yourself, you set yourself free💋
We live in a world of 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘵 We live in a world of 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 - and let's be honest, we have gotten reaaal accustomed to it. So much so, that we may be easily disappointed when something doesn't immediately go our way - including when it comes to our careers. Whether it's seeking a promotion or landing a job at your dream company, we need to remember that it may take longer than we like or anticipate.
⠀
Most of the time, 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒔 𝒐𝒓 𝒓𝒆𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒅𝒔 𝒘𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒊𝒏 𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒆𝒓 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒏 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒆𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒍𝒚. This is why it's critical to ᴘʟᴀɴᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴇᴇᴅ early on to begin preparing to reach your next career goal. For example:⠀
🌱 𝗦𝗲𝗲𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻: Start making an effort to connect with your manager periodically to discuss your career growth. Voice that you are aiming for a promotion. Show to him/her that you take your professional development seriously by discussing your goals and ways you can start taking on additional responsibilities. Try and start taking on the work of the role above yours. Keep a track record of your accomplishments and feedback (L&I has a free template FYI under Resources in my bio!).⠀
🌱 𝗟𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮 𝗝𝗼𝗯 𝗮𝘁 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗗𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗮𝗻𝘆: Research the company and learn about their mission, corporate values, and their offerings. Take their available certifications if available to put on your resume. Reach out and build relationships over time with people that currently work there to understand the culture and to let them know you are interested in working for their company. Get your resume, cover letter and LinkedIn profile professionally reviewed. Tailor your resume and yes, even your cover letter for the job you ultimately apply for.
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Both of these scenarios 𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚. But don't let that discourage you. What's something you're looking to accomplish in your career in the next 6 months? Don't delay - it's never too early to start preparing. Plant the seed now and watch yourself grow these next few months. Soon enough, after some hard work and patience, those 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐞𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬 will come🌷💋
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