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𝘚𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘨𝘨𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰

𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗹𝗱 𝗠𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗹 𝗛

𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗹𝗱 𝗠𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗹 𝗛𝗲𝗮𝗹𝘁𝗵 𝗗𝗮𝘆 is this Sunday, 10/10. It’s been a little quiet around here on L&I and I wanted to take this opportunity to share why.

I sought out therapy back in 2017 for the first time in my life, where I was diagnosed with not only 3 forms of anxiety but also uncovered the biggest aha moment of my life about my upbringing. After working with a therapist for most of that year, I decided I was ready to work through things on my own. These last 4 years have been transformational; I’ve done so much inner work, elevating my self-awareness and self-compassion. I’ve learned to get a handle on my anxiety and put mechanisms in place in order to treat it. I’ve learned to cope with my childhood trauma and accept what (and who) I can’t change.

A few months ago though, I went through a traumatic experience that transported me right back to my childhood. It was because of that experience that I’m now back in therapy, coming to terms once again with my reality, processing years of pain that I've pushed deep inside of me. It was sucking the energy and life from me, so I wanted to give myself the space I needed to move forward, in my own time. Throughout this time, I’ve brought my ‘A’ game at work, showed up for my family and friends in their celebrations, began a coaching training program, and traveled with my husband. 𝗟𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝗱𝗶𝗱𝗻’𝘁 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗽 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗜’𝘃𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗽𝘂𝘁 𝗮 𝘀𝗺𝗶𝗹𝗲 𝗼𝗻, 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗜 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗳𝗲𝗹𝘁 𝗮𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝘀𝘁.

While this journey hasn’t been easy, it’s been incredibly eye-opening. In a recent therapy session, I began connecting the dots, uncovering the why behind my anxiety. All of this and more is allowing me to heal to resolve the issues of my past so I can embrace my present and future.

♡ continued in the comments…

𝘛𝘰𝘥𝘢𝘺, 𝘐 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯 33 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘰𝘭𝘥. 𝘐’𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘣𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘩𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘭𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘰𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘵𝘩 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘹𝘵. 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳, 𝘐’𝘥 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘭𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘪𝘴:
⠀
Nearly 3 years ago, I had an 𝒂𝒉𝒂 𝒎𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕. A moment where a butterfly came to mind. A moment where I envisioned the growth process of how a butterfly comes to be. A moment when I realized I wanted to write about my growth of coming back to my writing and my authenticity. A moment where I decided to write a book.
⠀
I’ve been working on my book ever since. I thought for sure I’d have it written and published by now. But in the last year, I’ve come to learn that writing a book is no easy feat. 𝗜𝘁’𝘀 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝗯𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗶𝘁’𝘀 𝗽𝘂𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝘆 𝗹𝗶𝗺𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗯𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗲𝗳𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗲𝘀𝘁. I’ve written, rewritten, and rewritten some more. There have been days where I’ve been frustrated with my lack of progress and wondered if I should just quit.
⠀
𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗜 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗰𝗹𝗮𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗜 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗺𝘆 𝗶𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝘃𝗼𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝘁𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜’𝗺 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘄𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗯𝗼𝗼𝗸. That I need to keep going. That even though I may not see progress every day, it’s doesn’t mean that I’m not growing in this process or that my book will never be written. 𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒂𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒆𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆. Just like the butterfly, I need to give myself that time. I can’t rush the process. I know in the end, when that book is in my hands, the wait will have been worth it.
⠀
🦋 If something isn’t working out for you right now, don’t give up. Stay committed, stay determined, and stay the course. Take as much time as you need inside that “cocoon” of yours. 𝙆𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙥𝙥𝙤𝙧𝙩𝙪𝙣𝙞𝙩𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩, 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙪𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙡𝙮, 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙨𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙬𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙛𝙡𝙮 💋

A few weeks ago, I took part in the 7 𝙃𝙖𝙗

A few weeks ago, I took part in the 7 𝙃𝙖𝙗𝙞𝙩𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙃𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙡𝙮 𝙀𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙋𝙚𝙤𝙥𝙡𝙚 training program. I shared previously on Stories how impactful I found the program, particularly the 3rd habit, 𝘍𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘍𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵. First things first means doing the most important things in life. This habit helps you to understand what is important, what is urgent, and what can wait. It's about being clear on your to-do's and priorities and acting on them.
⠀
Between both home and work, we tend to have laundry lists of things we need to do and get done. It can often be overwhelming and leave you in a state of wondering where to even start. I personally encountered that quite a bit the last few months in my new role at Salesforce. There was so much to learn and so much to do that I found myself working day and night to stay caught up. I wanted to prove to my new team that I was capable and trustworthy but I also wanted to ensure that I didn't fall behind and become overwhelmed. I was finding that I was checking easy tasks off my list, but the more strategic projects that I really needed to be working on kept falling to the wayside. It's because my priorities were misaligned.
⠀
In his 7 𝙃𝙖𝙗𝙞𝙩𝙨 book, author Stephen Covey introduces a concept called the Eisenhower Matrix, or time matrix, with 4 quadrants (swipe to see):⠀
- 𝗤𝘂𝗮𝗱𝗿𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗜. Urgent and important (𝗗𝗼) – important deadlines and crises⠀
- 𝗤𝘂𝗮𝗱𝗿𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗜𝗜. Not urgent but important (𝗣𝗹𝗮𝗻) – long-term development⠀
- 𝗤𝘂𝗮𝗱𝗿𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗜𝗜𝗜. Urgent but not important (𝗗𝗲𝗹𝗲𝗴𝗮𝘁𝗲) – distractions with deadlines⠀
- 𝗤𝘂𝗮𝗱𝗿𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗜𝗩. Not urgent and not important (𝗘𝗹𝗶𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗮𝘁𝗲) – frivolous distractions
⠀
Through this exercise, I realized I was spending way too much of my time in Quadrant III and instead needed to focus on Quadrant II. Since taking the training, I've been creating my to-do list using these quadrants and have seen my productivity skyrocket as a result. If you've been struggling with where to focus your time and be more productive, give this a try and let me know what you think! If you've tried this before, tell me - have you found it helpful? 💋

[ 𝗡𝗘𝗪 𝗕𝗟𝗢𝗚 𝗣𝗢𝗦𝗧 ]

[ 𝗡𝗘𝗪 𝗕𝗟𝗢𝗚 𝗣𝗢𝗦𝗧 ] The thought of giving constructive #feedback in the workplace can often invoke a negative connotation or reaction. While it can be uncomfortable, the reality is that feedback is not only important; it's necessary. 𝘾𝙤𝙢𝙥𝙖𝙣𝙞𝙚𝙨 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙚𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙪𝙣𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙪𝙘𝙘𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙞𝙫𝙚. And employees want it. According to @officevibe, 96% of employees said that receiving feedback regularly is a good thing and 83% of employees appreciate receiving it, regardless if it’s positive or negative.
⠀
When feedback is prioritized in the workplace, it cultivates a feedback culture, where employees regardless of title or standing, feel comfortable voicing their thoughts and opinions. It also helps to 𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧-𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴, 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘥𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘱𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘶𝘦𝘭 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘵𝘩.
⠀
Over the course of our careers, we'll encounter many situations where we’re asked to provide feedback, which is why it's good to know how to effectively. Guest blogger Randi from @thesuitestitch knows a thing or two about this. With experience giving feedback in the workplace, as well as being a member of Toastmasters International, a public speaking and leadership club, Randi expands on these top tips for giving critical (but effective) feedback on the L&I blog.
⠀
💌 Save this post and then head to the link in my bio to read more! 💋

#tuesdaythoughts - I've said it before and it need

#tuesdaythoughts - I've said it before and it needs to be said again: 𝗜 𝗹𝗲𝘁 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲'𝘀 𝗼𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗼𝗳 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗺𝗲 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘂𝗽 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝘄𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀.
⠀
I thought I had to be everything to everyone. I worried about being "weird" and went against my values in order to fit in. I hustled and chased after success to feel worthy. I questioned my decisions and relied on others to validate me. I spent way too much time with people who didn't have my best interests at heart. I held back from pursuing my passion for writing and going after my dreams. Just to name a few.
⠀
Creating and launching Lipstick & Ink, however, forced me to 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴, 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘴𝘦𝘵, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘶𝘦 𝘱𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘮𝘺 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘢𝘺. There are days where I catch myself falling into old patterns, but then I remember the growth I've experienced these last three years and I'm able to change course. I realize that starting a blog doesn't seem like a life-altering milestone, but if I'm being honest, it ended up teaching me one of my biggest lessons thus far. 𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙥 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙤𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪, 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙚𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛 𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙚:⠀
✨ You don't let your fear limit you⠀
✨ You stop trying to meet others' expectations and do what you want⠀
✨ You move on from trying to please everyone and learn to say no⠀
✨ You speak your truth⠀
✨ You put yourself out there regardless of the outcome⠀
✨ You attract your people and remove those who aren't good for you⠀
✨ You own your power and embrace your authentic self⠀
✨ You trust your intuition and make your choices based on what feels right⠀
✨ You stop trying to change people's opinions of you
⠀
Best of all, whether you realize it or not, 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗽𝗶𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗽 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝘁𝗼𝗼 💋

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